Gary Joseph   Jan | 2025

This article was originally published by Law360 (www.law360.ca), part of LexisNexis Canada Inc.

I have often referred to the importance of mentoring and the benefits I have reaped and continue to reap from the mentoring I enjoyed from the late James C. MacDonald, QC. However, I also was the beneficiary of some most helpful mentoring from, surprisingly, (but perhaps not so), family lawyers who were at times aggressive opponents during my career. I am now going to share some of this transmitted wisdom in the form of suggested New Year’s resolutions for family lawyers. Here’s my top 10 suggestions:

1. Jim MacDonald insisted that fellow counsel, no matter how difficult, must (not should) be treated with respect at all times. It took me many years (too many) to “get it” and I regret that, but I do now. RESOLVE to always treat fellow family counsel with respect.

2. The best family lawyers are not necessarily the best speakers but, instead, the best listeners. My late (and wise) father always told me that God gave me two ears but just one mouth and there was a reason for this. RESOLVE to be the best listener you can be, listen to your client, listen to your opposing counsel and listen to judges when in court.

3. Yes, it’s important to be a skillful orator but do not ignore the importance of your written product. Most often, the first impression a judge will have of you comes from the written product you submitted to the court. RESOLVE to work to improve your writing skills.

4. Take the continuing education programs you attend seriously. In this Zoom age, there is temptation to turn it on and then get busy with other matters. Better to attend in person. RESOLVE to personally attend CPD whenever possible.

5. Whether you are a litigator, negotiator or mediator, you need to know that the law as it applies to family lawyers matters. Read the cases, especially those recognized as important. Don’t read summaries, read the cases! RESOLVE to actually make time to read the cases.

6. Be brave and speak out for change where you see change is necessary in the family lawyer world. RESOLVE to take the initiative to bring change where change is needed in family law.

7. Volunteer. Never turn down an invitation to participate in a CPD program. Jim taught me to never say no and until very recently (for reasons I addressed about a year ago in an article published) I never did. RESOLVE to be available whenever asked to present at a CPD program.

8. Watch and learn. I have written about the concerns I have with the loss of in-person court but whenever present take the opportunity to learn from those who are skillful and those who are not. RESOLVE to attend in-person court whenever possible.

9. You have an obligation to the profession to teach the new members of the family law bar. RESOLVE to involve associates in your files and court attendances wherever possible.

10. Finally, the late (and brilliant) Phil Epstein, QC, was very kind to me when he was not trying to “kick my butt” in high conflict matters. Phil mellowed (as we all do) as he grew older, but he was a ferocious opponent as a litigator before he chose to devote his practice mainly to ADR. For years, when in contact with me, he reminded me of his suggestion to use the New Year event to fire your 10 most difficult clients. I initially thought this was one of the many jokes Phil often told, but eventually I understood the wisdom of this advice. Work-life balance is indeed important. Many family law clients are at their worst during a breakup. There often comes a point in the representation that “crosses the line.” We are not obligated to continue for clients who abuse us and/or express a lack of confidence in our skills and/or advice. Gently, respectfully and with a view to their best interests, consider firing these clients. RESOLVE to review your client list in the early days of January and consider the above.

I realize that many of my thoughts above have been presented in a different manner at times in my writings. I do hope, however, that in this summary I have passed along a little of the valuable advice I have received over the course of now 47 years of family law practice.

Gary S. Joseph is counsel to the firm of MacDonald & Partners LLP. A certified specialist in family law, he has been reported in over 350 family law decisions at all court levels in Ontario and Alberta. He has also appeared as counsel in the Supreme Court of Canada. He is a past family law instructor for the Law Society Bar Admission Course and the winner of the 2021 OBA Award for Excellence in Family Law.

The opinions expressed are those of the authors) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the author's firm, its clients, LexisNexis Canada, Law360 Canada, or any of its or their respective affiliates. This article is for general information purposes and is not intended to be and should not be taken as legal advice.

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